Being Rebecca Lowe
by bastet-sachmet
Summary: [Takes place during 5x11] After Neal told Rebecca he was falling for her she went home thinking about the whole situation. This is why she made that call to tell him she felt the same way. How did she fell making this decision? And how did Neal really feel after he heard that when he knew she wasn't who she pretended to be?


_Disclaimer: We don't own anything. Everything belongs to Jeff Eastin and USA Networks._

_Author's note: Well we got this idea delivered by a frequent gust reader and thought about it the whole day through. This is what came up in our heads. This voicemail scene was really way too cute to let this idea go. So "Teagan" that's for you. Oh uhm yeah we got carried away a bit and put in some of our conspicracy theories as well.  
_

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_"__I think I'm falling in love with you."  
_Rebecca couldn't stop her mind from replaying this over and over again while she was on her way to her hide out. She knew it wasn't professional but she was happy about him saying this. From all she knew about him he had a serious problem expressing his real feelings just like herself. She had gathered enough information before all this started so she had been aware Neal would have tried to charm her. But when they finally had met each other she started to fall for him the second they made eye contact. She knew it was dangerous and not meant to be but she couldn't help herself. Even if Rebecca Lowe wasn't more than an alias she felt more real than any other alias or her real self as Rachel Turner because Rebecca had developed real feelings for Neal. The more she saw the man behind the conman the deeper she fell for him. She didn't want to leave when he said those certain words that were still pounding in her ears but she needed to know who or what had activated the alarm. Until her job was done she needed to avoid that someone would uncover who she really was and whom she was working for. And it was also necessary no one would find out how deep her feelings for Neal really were.  
The apartment block came into view and she took a deep breath to collect herself. Carefully she got onto her floor and pulled her gun out. Her gaze went down to the flyer of the Chinese restaurant down the street. Calmer but still suspicious she entered the apartment.  
While she deactivated the alarm and put her glasses off she thought back to Neal. A smile crossed her face and she knew what she wanted to do. A look around showed her everything she needed to get rid of and so she started to pack everything that didn't belonged to "her" recent self. She felt comfortable being Rebecca Lowe, she was a nice and charming person and she really loved Neal and she wanted him to know. She knew all this would be a problem if anyone found out and even a bigger one to deal with those she worked for. She was sure that everything she had with Neal and the prospect of a quite normal life felt all worth the trouble she might get herself into. Determined to stay she picked up the phone and called him.  
"Hey…Neal it's me. Umm…look I've been thinking a lot about what we talked about earlier. What you said to me. And…umm…I love you too. I can't believe I just said that into your voicemail. I guess I just couldn't wait to tell you. Okay I'm gonna hang up before I embarrass myself worse, but, um... I'll see you tomorrow."  
Feeling like a teenager in love for the first time she let herself fall onto her bed and couldn't keep herself from giggling to herself. With the kind of life she lived for years she never thought this was even possible. But it was like that – Rebecca Lowe was in love for the first time of her life.

About an hour later she sat in that little park and waited. An older man who looked like a tourist approached her and sat down next to her.  
"What do you have?"  
"I quit," she said serious.  
"You know you can't quit. I warned you yesterday," the man said in a threatening tone.  
"I know you did but I don't care. You shot our contact person."  
"And you don't keep track of what your target does."  
"Why should I? I am as close as possible."  
"You grew too close."  
"That's my business. I quit and you can't stop me."  
"You know we can. You know what happens to people like you."  
"You won't kill me in the middle of an assignment."  
"No, we have other ways. I ask once again: does your target got new information?"  
"His name is Neal."  
"I don't care."  
"No, he burned the chapter."  
"How unpleasant. He isn't of value anymore."  
"He is."  
She got up and turned around.  
"You will regret this, Rachel."  
"I won't. I sacrificed enough to you."  
"Believe me, you didn't even start to sacrifice the things you love."

Neal still sat in the conference room and watched the video of the surveillance cameras in Rebecca's apartment. He tried to find out if she had known about the cameras and it was another con. But how could he recognize it? She had fooled him all the way, making him believe she was this shy and sweet book scholar. He should have known better but on the other hand her feelings towards him seemed genuine just as her voice mail message. He had to admit to himself he didn't say it to her just to buy time. It had been the truth. But now it seemed like he had started to fall in love with a woman who probably never existed that way. To make it worse Jones had been right when he pointed out that she had only started to pack those things that didn't belong to Rebecca Lowe. At some point in his life he had asked himself how it felt to other people when they found out he had conned them before. Not it was him being on the receiving end of this and it wasn't a pleasant experience at all. The only good thing was that Mozzie didn't intend to play the "I told you so" card.  
"Hey Caffrey, I was headed outside for lunch. Do you wanna join?"  
"Jones, thanks. But I don't need a babysitter."  
"I don't intend to be one but maybe you just need someone to talk to."  
"I already know that I've been an idiot. I really should have known better. At first being conned by my own father not by another woman."  
"Do you wanna hear my opinion?"  
"Enlighten me."  
"Even if Rebecca didn't tell you the truth about who she is but I'm sure she said the truth in that message. She didn't know there are cameras and if it would be another part of a con her whole behavior and body language would have been different. And as I pointed out earlier she only packed the things away that are connected to other aliases. No matter who she is she wants to stay here as Rebecca Lowe and you're the reason why she wants it."  
"I don't know. Why didn't she tell me truth when I told her the truth about who I am?"  
"I have no idea. That's something you should ask her. When she packed her things away she looked she would calculate the risks of that decision."  
"The profiling courses you visited made you a smart ass, Jones."  
"But you know that I'm right. Could it be that your ego is a bit hurt that she conned you so well? That you're obviously not the smartest one in the room sometimes?"  
"It's not my ego that got hurt. Rebecca or whoever she is was the first person in a long time I was really interested in and now it turns out that everything was a lie. It's over... if it had ever been on."  
"Not everything was a lie and you're done with that no matter what you say. If you could quit it so easily and shut your feelings down you wouldn't sit here and watch this message over and over and over again."  
"I just try to find out why."  
"Not completely. Why did you really tell her you love her?"  
"As I said before to buy some time..."  
"Come on, Caffrey. There was more than that..."  
"And even if... it doesn't matter anymore."  
"I think it does. I mean you both conned each other. You're even with each other."  
"Not if she faked her own kidnapping and killed Hagen."  
"We don't know that yet. You should talk to her to and try to make her tell you the truth about who she is and what she wants."  
"Would you do the same?"  
"It's not about what I would do. You both said that you love each other and at least you should try to find out if this is the truth or not."  
Neal sighed and looked at the screen again, seeing Rebecca's smile when she said she loved him.


End file.
